Picking Miriam up from school each day is...well...and adventure. In the past few months I have discussed/debated/been lectured about the following while we (mostly Grandparents) wait for the school gates to open so we can get the kids:
- What fish you should buy only alive. Some you can buy dead- but others I guess are really dangerous to buy already dead.
- How much money the government pays me per year for my children.
- If I speak only Chinese at home with my kids
- How much the groceries I am carrying in my hands cost.
- How much I pay in rent
- How long have a lived here and am I from France?
- Why I don't take the month long rest after having a baby and are you not so scared when you get older your body will be crippled from not resting enough.
- Do I hit my kids if they do not do their homework
-Why can't you speak Shanghaiese (local dialect)
-Why do you wear so many clothes when it is not even cold out
-Why do your parents not live in China to take care of your kids
- How much does your husband make a month?
-How much is a plane ticket home to America?
- Do you perm your hair?
-Why do your kids have red hair and you do not
I am pretty good at the above questions. They may sound very direct to you- but that is kind of how people talk here. They will not come up to you and say "Hi, nice to see you ! How are you and the kids?" but they will say "You look skinnner- why are you not eating". You have to translate in your head what they REALLY mean is the first sentence but say the second.
Well, something happened yesterday at school that totally threw me for a loop. I was a little late so everyone has already gone into the school. Once I climbed the three floors to Miriam's classroom I noticed all the kids were still at their desks and one lone Grandpa was waiting in the back of the room. When he saw me he yelled across the classroom "Why is you daughter writing with her left hand. Don't you know that is really bad and in China we do not do that".
I did not know what to say. His tone of voice was not the normal "how much does your government pay you for your kids" tone. It was meaner and nastier. I bee lined to Miriam and with my head down just told her to get her stuff and we are OUT OF HERE. Then the Grandpa comes over to me and starts in that Miriam should not be allowed to eat with her left hand either. Thankfully, Miriam's teacher (who we love) spoke up and basically said to leave Miriam alone she is from America. Grandpa then realized I was mad and started saying things like "But Miriam is so pretty" ect. His sweet words were not going to make me any happier! So we said our goodbyes to her friends and teachers and we were out of there.
Once I kind of gained my composure I told Miriam I was sorry I did not defend her more. It is true that 99% of kids that are left handed they force to change to right hand. Writing Chinese with your left hand is really, really hard. But Miriam seems to be just fine! So have not really thought more about it. Until Grandpa showed up...
I asked Miriam what she thought I should of said to him. Thinking that she would know from a cultural perspective what would be best. Miriam then said this to me:
"Mommy, you just need to pray for him. Pray that God would change his heart about being left handed in China"
Her words first shocked me. She was the one that was wronged! But then her words convicted me to the core. Indeed it is only prayer that can change anyone.
I am thankful for a little girl who can teach her very stubborn Mommy.