Wish I could 'beam' you all over to hold him, he truly is a gift!
Joab- Main Global Guy Emily- Main Global Mama Miriam- Passionate Global Gal Asa- Global Creative One Salome- Global Cutie Silas- Global Toddler
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Day Ten
Wish I could 'beam' you all over to hold him, he truly is a gift!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
It's a Boy! One week later
Silas one week
He is doing great- is pretty laid back and loves to eat and sleep right now. It is taking longer for my body to "bounce back" perhaps it was weeks of high blood pressure or a birth that was a lot harder than I thought (more on that later). In any case thankful for friends to help out and a husband who can work from home more.
Salome was pregnant with her baby the whole time I was pregnant with Silas. She announced to me yesterday her baby has not come out yet! I will let you all know when it does! I thought she would want to nurse her baby dolls when I feed Silas. Instead she just likes to say how hungry he is and why does he not stop crying? She is very sensitive to his every need- indeed she is a natural when it comes to mothering.
Asa is happy too with Silas- but kind of bored that he just sits around and does nothing! He likes his "silky" hair. Miriam had the same black hair when she was born- then it all fell out and came in brown. Joab jokes we make two flavors of kids- chocolate (Silas and Mei) and strawberry (Asa and Salome).
So, bottom line. We are so blessed and so tired. And personally so glad NOT to be pregnant anymore!!!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Silas' Special First Visitor from the U.S. - "Ms. Mary"
This Saturday (Oct 20) we hosted a very special family friend from Arizona - Professor Mary Teagarden. A bit of background on this amazing women who are children call "Ms. Mary" and her influencing on our global parenting is outlined below. In addition, to the long-term ways that we appreciate her friendship and kindness to our family, it was very very special for Silas to have his first U.S. based visitor!
Who is "Ms. Mary: Since I (Joab) was a MBA student at Thunderbird School of Global Management in Arizona, one of our family's good friends has been Thunderbird Professor Mary Teagarden. Not only was she one of my favorite professors in the classroom, but we also had the opportunity to cooperate on several reasearch projects. Through these projects I not only learned a tremdous amount about cool MBA topics like technology transfer, corporate social responsbility and intellectual property protection, but under Professor Teagarden's influence I have begun to develop a curiosity around global business topics that continues to serve me well today.
Third Culture Kids (TCKs): Personally one of the areas where this kind of curosity has served our family well is by seeking to understand how to effectively nuture our "third culture kids" (TCK). There is a bunch of research on this, but basically TCKs are those children that live outside their home culture and therefore out of necessity create a "third culture" that doesn't matches the home culture of their parents (America in our case) or the host culture where they are currently living (China for us). A key TCK skill we see our kids (especially Miriam) use with regularity is cultural "style switching" whereby she will communicate something differently to Chinese friends than to non-Chinese friends.
What This Means for Our Family - Miriam at School: This "style switching" is not simply about language (what you say), but more importantly culture (how you say it). For example, the way teachers communicate to a student the need for improvement may have the same intention (the child's improvement in class) as their U.S. counterparts, but the tone and demeanor in China often sounds much harsher than what we may be used to in the U.S. Miriam has to navgate this and then turn around and communicate it to us - her U.S. parents, which is no small task. However, Professor Teagarden has helped Emily and I understand just how critical it is to develop such skill.
Tying It All Together: Today, "style switching" may make it easier for Miriam to communicate to her American parents the expectations of her Chinese school teachers, but the real value with this skill is in the future. Professor Teagarden leads an institute at Thunderbird called the Najafi Global Mindset Institute. This organization fundamentally helps business leaders develop the ability to "better influence those who are different from them". Professor Tegarden has written more about why this matters to business leaders, but personally Emily and I are passionate that we nurture this ability in our children. Regardless of what field of work they go into, we want them to be able to not only appreciate that different cultures see things differently, but also effectively communicate, influence and lead people from different cultures.
So our prayer is that the skills that make communicating about Chinese homework easier today will be used years from now to lead changes that can span across cultures.
Mary meets Silas while Asa shows off one of his Star Wars lego toys from "Ms. Mary"
The older three kids show off some of their "Ms. Mary" gifts.
They eagerly anticipate each time she visits - not only because of her gifts,
but because her childhood was not terribly different than theirs.
Who is "Ms. Mary: Since I (Joab) was a MBA student at Thunderbird School of Global Management in Arizona, one of our family's good friends has been Thunderbird Professor Mary Teagarden. Not only was she one of my favorite professors in the classroom, but we also had the opportunity to cooperate on several reasearch projects. Through these projects I not only learned a tremdous amount about cool MBA topics like technology transfer, corporate social responsbility and intellectual property protection, but under Professor Teagarden's influence I have begun to develop a curiosity around global business topics that continues to serve me well today.
Third Culture Kids (TCKs): Personally one of the areas where this kind of curosity has served our family well is by seeking to understand how to effectively nuture our "third culture kids" (TCK). There is a bunch of research on this, but basically TCKs are those children that live outside their home culture and therefore out of necessity create a "third culture" that doesn't matches the home culture of their parents (America in our case) or the host culture where they are currently living (China for us). A key TCK skill we see our kids (especially Miriam) use with regularity is cultural "style switching" whereby she will communicate something differently to Chinese friends than to non-Chinese friends.
What This Means for Our Family - Miriam at School: This "style switching" is not simply about language (what you say), but more importantly culture (how you say it). For example, the way teachers communicate to a student the need for improvement may have the same intention (the child's improvement in class) as their U.S. counterparts, but the tone and demeanor in China often sounds much harsher than what we may be used to in the U.S. Miriam has to navgate this and then turn around and communicate it to us - her U.S. parents, which is no small task. However, Professor Teagarden has helped Emily and I understand just how critical it is to develop such skill.
Tying It All Together: Today, "style switching" may make it easier for Miriam to communicate to her American parents the expectations of her Chinese school teachers, but the real value with this skill is in the future. Professor Teagarden leads an institute at Thunderbird called the Najafi Global Mindset Institute. This organization fundamentally helps business leaders develop the ability to "better influence those who are different from them". Professor Tegarden has written more about why this matters to business leaders, but personally Emily and I are passionate that we nurture this ability in our children. Regardless of what field of work they go into, we want them to be able to not only appreciate that different cultures see things differently, but also effectively communicate, influence and lead people from different cultures.
So our prayer is that the skills that make communicating about Chinese homework easier today will be used years from now to lead changes that can span across cultures.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Welcome Silas Carl John Meyer!
We are proud to annouce that Silas Carl John was born at 11:47 pm on Oct 18 weighing 7.5 lb and measuring 19.8 inches long!
Below is a bit of background on this little boy's three names:
Below is a bit of background on this little boy's three names:
Silas- was a man in the Bible who was a leader and a servant in the early church. Our prayer is that our Silas would be a man who walks closely with God loves others deeply from the heart.
One our favorite songs that also talks about the story of Paul and Silas in the Bible can be found here
More about Silas in the Bible can be found here
Carl-is Emily’s Dad. Carl is known as Papa to our kids. We hope Silas can have Papa’s same love for his family, love of learning and sense of humor.
John- John was Joab’s Paternal Grandfather and in Hebrew means graced by God. Indeed what a gift to have a new baby son! What an amazing gift!
Below are some pictures of the family welcoming Silas
Joab and Silas "chilling" at the hopital this morning.
Salome holds Silas for the first time
Miriam's wide smile and tears of joy greeted us at the door upon returning home this afternoon
Over a year ago Asa began praying for a baby brother.
What a joy to see the first meeting of the Meyer Brothers!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Juliet’s Bananas
Maybe in 5th grade a new girl
came into our elementary school- her name was Juliet. That name to me sounded
romantic, mysterious and like she was from a far away land. Her parents were
indeed from a far away land- her Dad was from the country of India and her Mom
from England.
We became friends and once when I went to
her house I was served tea. I don’t remember drinking tea but we did have some
sort of cakes. And then the bananas came out- and her Mom pulled them from the refrigerator!
They were all brown from being kept in there but tasted fine. What has stuck
with me all these years is that it was so normal for her Mom to keep bananas in
the fridge. As a girl I just thought that if you lived in the USA bananas should
be kept on the counter where they stay a perfect yellow. And when they get
brown you make banana bread out of them.
As I sat there in her house (which did not
have a TV- another amazing thing to my 11 year old mind) listening to classical
music; eating cold, brown bananas from the fridge I was learning a new way to
have a play date.
That Juliet banana memory comes to mind a
lot to me. Often I am given things to eat, places to go, and experiences that
make me wide-eyed in wonder of how does it all make sense. What I had at Juliet’s
house was a new friend who was relaxed and happy in her cold banana eating, Indian/English,
home. And that is the key- a friend who is like a tour guide into the cold
banana culture.
My kids have these- people who make the
cold bananas in their life feel…well…fun. Normal really. It is amazing to see
them react to something I would find very overwhelming with just a sense of fun
or excitement because their friends are with them. This mainly happens at
school- where they are loved and feel love.
My kids still have days that are hard, but
mostly they just love what life gives them. I am the one trying to catch up
with them. Busy to organize school and life for them so that they have space to
relax and eat the cold bananas. I could do better to relax to and enjoy some
tea time with others who want to get to know me and introduce me to the
thousands of cold banana cultural aspects of China.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Salome's Birth Adventure
***Note this contains a birth story! If you do not like blood etc. do not read*****
So, some of your know the story of how Salome was born. I have never posted this story because, well, it is kind of crazy.
We had picked out the hospital with Salome under the impression (and paid a VIP fee) to have a private room with Joab there. However, they lied to us and did not provide that. We learned later if we would of paid a bribe things probably would of been different. But we do not pay bribes and in the end Salome was healthy, I was fine and can actually laugh about it now.
I am thankful we are giving birth at a new hospital for #4. Paying a lot more, but in the end I think it will be private and Joab will be there!
________________________________________________________________________________
Salome Grace Elaine
December 23, 2009 Shanghai China
Birth Adventure
> > Salome’s whole pregnancy taught me so very much. I treasure those days- and
> > really thank God for a wonderful pregnancy. I was able to get through: the
> > few weeks of bleeding, Miriam’s pneumonia hospitalization, more days of
> > bleeding after that, food poisoning, climbing the Great Wall and a quick
> > trip to America! WOW! We did a lot and God’s peace was always close to my
> > heart- that is one reason we named her Salome it is Greek for- Peace.
> >
> >
> >
> > About midnight on December 23, 2009 I was in bed and rolled over to feel a
> > huge rush of water leave me. I looked at Joab who said “I think your water
> > just broke”. I was not sure, so I got up and went to the bathroom watching a
> > trail of water follow me the whole time. I spent a while in the shower
> > trying to relax through the first of the contractions.
> >
> >
> >
> > I got out of the tub to blow dry my hair and more and more water is coming
> > out! Yikes I had no idea how much water is in there (with my other two kids they had to break >>my water)! As I dried off I was
> > trying to come to terms that this baby was coming! Soon!
> >
> >
> >
> > After my shower Joab told me he thought we should head over to the hospital.
> > As we were not sure of the registration process and perhaps- just maybe we
> > could secure a VIP room. I had been told a month before that all the VIP rooms
> >were going to be under remodling so they would not be sure where I would give birth.
> >This, has caused me a lot of stress! As the "local" option to birth- was well, not
>>my first choice.
> >
> > Funny what you pray for. My whole pregnancy I had prayed for the taxi driver
> > who would take us to the hospital. So when Joab called for a cab I was
> > pretty amazed at who God gave us. One of the calmness, nicest taxi drivers
> > in Shanghai! He knew I was in labor but did not speed through the stop
> > lights- but drove fast but dropping me off right at the ER door. As Joab
> > checked me in I was starting to have to stop and really breathe through my
> > contractions. We checked in at the ER but had to take the elevator to the
> > third floor to labor there. At the door to the Labor unit Joab was not
> > allowed to come in before he put on this very uncomfortable plastic
> > disposable gown and strange looking blue plastic chefs hat! We get into the
> > labor room and the reality of what I am about to do hits me. As I am sharing
> > this room with two other Chinese women. But I don’t have long to think about
> > this because my contractions are coming hard and fast. I had to kneel on all
> > fours on this little tiny bed and rock back and forth to keep the pain under
> > control. They decide they need to “check me” which means they want to check
> > me WHILE I am having a contraction! What! I have never heard of this! On top
> > of that when they check you they put this really strange looking brown goop
> > (think poop) which is suppose to prevent infection. I have no choice, and
> > let them check me- which hurts like crazy. They announce I am at a ZERO and
> > the baby is high- so I can not walk around in fact they just want me to lay
> > on my back.
> >
> >
> >
> > Forget the laying on my back I am having such intense back labor I can
> > barely talk. Speaking of talking, Joab and I decided that I would not speak
> > any Chinese at the hospital so that it would make them think even more that
> > I needed him to stay with me. At this point I am not speaking much English
> > let alone Chinese.
> >
> >
> >
> > We get to the hospital about 1 AM- at 3AM they “check” me again and I am
> > only at a three. But again, contractions about three minutes a part with
> > basically no breaks for me to catch my breath or even talk to Joab about our
> > options. Here my memory gets a bit unclear. Time starts to stand still and I
> > can’t really think about much except the extreme pain this baby is causing
> > me. With both Mei and Asa I labored a lot in water the hot water directly on
> > my lower back really helped the pain. Now, I had no water, no privacy and
> > pretty soon no husband to help me. I was feeling desperate, scared and
> > alone. I knew I needed to “get it together” if this baby was going to come
> > out. But honestly, I did not think I could do this alone and was asking Joab
> > to give me drugs. In fact the lady on the other side of the curtain said to
> > me in English “I think you need some drugs for the pain”. I said back to her
> > “Do you have drugs? Can I have some of yours”? She said nothing back to me
> > and then they announced it was time for me to go down one floor to the
> > delivery room….and Joab could not come with.
> >
> >
> >
> > Joab really tried- bless his heart. He tried to talk to anyone in power to
> > get him into the delivery room. But in the end (I was at 5 cm) they put me
> > on a different metal bed and rolled me down the hall, through the waiting
> > room (cue all the Chinese starring at me) and down one floor by elevator. My
> > last words to Joab were- “If I die please get remarried”. Joab assured me I
> > was not going to die- but it sure felt like it. At this point I was
> > screaming- and trying to not lay on my back while getting wheeled down the
> > hallway. I am sure I was a sight to be seen!
> >
> >
> >
> > I was wheeled into the group delivery room. Think a room about 40 feet by 40
> > feet with three metal beds, three mid wives, three nurses and one cleaning
> > lady. The other two Chinese ladies in there were in the middle of giving
> > birth when I came in. There were no curtains- it was like walking into a TLC
> > birthing show LIVE! At this point I really do not care that other people are
> > with me. I want DRUGS I want JOAB. I was screaming- screaming at them-
> > screaming at myself- I was loosing it.
> >
> >
> >
> > The midwife’s job is to catch the baby (note- this is not like the earthy
> > midwives who love natural birth like in the USA). They do not help you with
> > breathing or positions. They want the baby to come out their way and their
> > timing. The first thing the Midwife does is take me feet and put them into
> > stirrups- I started to scream louder and plead with her to NOT do this. With
> > the amount of back labor I was having I could not have more pressure on my
> > back. In my anger I kick off the stirrup from the bed. So the midwife looks
> > at me and tells me to just breathe. Just breathe! Right. So then she gives
> > me the “puffer”. She could have given my cocaine and I would have probably
> > taken it. As last time them checked my 15 min ago I was 5 and now I am a 9
> > or 10 they tell me. She puts her hand up me and touches the babies head. She
> > tells me take the “puffer” and then start pushing. Well, the puffer must
> > have been some type of laughing gas? Not sure- it was two huge tanks of gas
> > and one gas mask that were made of a little Chinese mouth. I had a hard time
> > just figuring out how to breathe in it. Not sure if it was the fact I was
> > thinking more about the “puffer” and less about my back labor or that the
> > puffer actually worked- but somehow I got to 10 cm!
> >
> >
> >
> > They put my legs back in the stirrups. Actually the bed they had me on was
> > not wide enough for my hips and my legs to be on there together. I just
> > resigned myself that their plan was the stirrups and my plan was a baby. So
> > I guess I needed to do it their way. In fact I did think about just getting
> > up and leaving- but since the baby was basically falling out of me- decided
> > against this. The midwife also told me to grip on to these metal handles
> > which somehow were attached to the stirrups. I kind of felt like I was in a
> > space ship in a very awkward position holding on to metal bar that was going
> > to get me no where!
> >
> >
> >
> > My dear friend Laura reminded me the week before not to push until I felt
> > like it. I took this to heart and actually waited (screaming through the
> > pain of the back labor while my legs are in stirrups while holding on to the
> > metal bar) until I felt the urge to push. Which was kind of the diamond in
> > the rough- with Asa the midwife basically forced me to push
> > before I was ready- and I always regretted that. So with Salome I waited and
> > it went a lot better. It took maybe five minutes and she was born. They told
> > me to slow down after her head came out- which was really hard to do! But
> > she came out- they said (in Chinese) you have a girl! And then they took her
> > vagina and basically shoved it into my face! Because they thought I did not
> > speak Chinese- I guess they wanted me to know for sure!
> >
> >
> >
> > They took Salome away to the other side of the room (I could see her the
> > whole time) and then proceeded to get the placenta out. The midwife did not
> > want me to push the placenta out- she said it would come out on its own.
> > Perhaps in a safer spot when I could actually hold my baby it would come out
> > on its own! But I wanted that baby- so I just said forget it and pushed it
> > out! Placenta was a-okay and they asked me for the third time if I wanted it
> > boxed up and taken home. No thanks but can I have my baby?! At this point I
> > start speaking Chinese and all in the room are shocked I can speak it! I
> > said – when I am not pushing a baby out I can speak Chinese- they laughed.
> >
> >
> >
> > So baby out- time for me to eat?! They give me a Chinese dumpling thing, a
> > bowl of rice porridge and a hard boiled egg. I am covered in goop and now I
> > want to eat? No thanks.
> >
> >
> >
> > At this point they bring out the tea pot. Not filled with tea but some type
> > of Chinese medicine mixture which they pour all over my birth canal and
> > area. It actually felt pretty good- then she took this Q-tip style thing and
> > started to “clean me out”. At this point I lay back down (I can only see
> > Salome if I am sitting up) and just try to relax and eat my dumpling! I was
> > actually hungry and it tasted really good!
> >
> >
> >
> > I keep asking if I can hold Salome and when can I get out of here and see
> > Joab? They inform me that I need to wait two hours in this room before I can
> > see Joab. Two hours!!!!!!! Yikes.
> >
> >
> >
> > They then take a small plastic pan to “catch” all the blood coming out of
> > me. They want to see a certain amount and keep on checking me (and kneading
> > my uterus- it really hurt). About 45 after giving birth they give me Salome!
> > She is wrapped in this paper towel looking thing- naked except for a diaper
> > (which they had to go back to the waiting room and get from Joab)
>> and she has had no bath! They then tell me I
> > need to nurse her the whole two hours while I wait to “recover”. At this
> > point I had totally resigned myself to whatever they asked of me- because
> > they let me see Salome. She was so pretty! And with red hair! Miriam is
> > going to be sooo happy!
> >
> >
> >
> > So Salome and I nursed – ate some more Chinese dumplings both of us half
> > naked on this horrible small plastic bed alone without Joab. However, we did
> > enjoy watching all the other babies being born around us while we waited
> > those two hours. I love the TLC birthing shows and I was in a live one!
> > Amazing the gift of birth!
> >
> >
> >
> > After about 1 ½ hours they took Salome from me (I thought for her bath) and
> > put some clothes on her. By this time I was READY to see Joab, get out of
> > the TLC birthing show and take a shower! I asked if we could be moved into a
> > VIP recovery room- to which the midwife said all the VIP rooms were full and
> > I needed to go into group recovery. FINE I thought- just get me out of here!
> >
> >
> >
> > So a super long 30 minutes past when finally they got another metal cart for
> > me and a smaller one for Salome. They put a new fresh gown on me and wheeled
> > us down the hall to finally see Joab! Joab met us at the door and I think
> > was pretty happy to see me alive. I was pretty happy to see he had not remarried!!
> >
> >
> >
> > We got wheeled up to the group recovery room- I was in the middle bed
> > separated by curtains from one woman on my right who just had a c-section
> > (did not look fun) and a woman on my left who had given birth a few days
> > before hand. Thankfully when I got into the room the head Doctor was making
> > rounds. She told us we could leave basically when we wanted to. Next to
> > having Salome this was the best present I got at Christmas! So as soon as
> > they could process the Birth Certificate Salome, Joab and I were out of
> > there!
> >
> >
> >
> > Born at 5:45 AM- left hospital at 3:00 PM on December, 23 2009.
So, some of your know the story of how Salome was born. I have never posted this story because, well, it is kind of crazy.
We had picked out the hospital with Salome under the impression (and paid a VIP fee) to have a private room with Joab there. However, they lied to us and did not provide that. We learned later if we would of paid a bribe things probably would of been different. But we do not pay bribes and in the end Salome was healthy, I was fine and can actually laugh about it now.
I am thankful we are giving birth at a new hospital for #4. Paying a lot more, but in the end I think it will be private and Joab will be there!
________________________________________________________________________________
Salome Grace Elaine
December 23, 2009 Shanghai China
Birth Adventure
> > Salome’s whole pregnancy taught me so very much. I treasure those days- and
> > really thank God for a wonderful pregnancy. I was able to get through: the
> > few weeks of bleeding, Miriam’s pneumonia hospitalization, more days of
> > bleeding after that, food poisoning, climbing the Great Wall and a quick
> > trip to America! WOW! We did a lot and God’s peace was always close to my
> > heart- that is one reason we named her Salome it is Greek for- Peace.
> >
> >
> >
> > About midnight on December 23, 2009 I was in bed and rolled over to feel a
> > huge rush of water leave me. I looked at Joab who said “I think your water
> > just broke”. I was not sure, so I got up and went to the bathroom watching a
> > trail of water follow me the whole time. I spent a while in the shower
> > trying to relax through the first of the contractions.
> >
> >
> >
> > I got out of the tub to blow dry my hair and more and more water is coming
> > out! Yikes I had no idea how much water is in there (with my other two kids they had to break >>my water)! As I dried off I was
> > trying to come to terms that this baby was coming! Soon!
> >
> >
> >
> > After my shower Joab told me he thought we should head over to the hospital.
> > As we were not sure of the registration process and perhaps- just maybe we
> > could secure a VIP room. I had been told a month before that all the VIP rooms
> >were going to be under remodling so they would not be sure where I would give birth.
> >This, has caused me a lot of stress! As the "local" option to birth- was well, not
>>my first choice.
> >
> > Funny what you pray for. My whole pregnancy I had prayed for the taxi driver
> > who would take us to the hospital. So when Joab called for a cab I was
> > pretty amazed at who God gave us. One of the calmness, nicest taxi drivers
> > in Shanghai! He knew I was in labor but did not speed through the stop
> > lights- but drove fast but dropping me off right at the ER door. As Joab
> > checked me in I was starting to have to stop and really breathe through my
> > contractions. We checked in at the ER but had to take the elevator to the
> > third floor to labor there. At the door to the Labor unit Joab was not
> > allowed to come in before he put on this very uncomfortable plastic
> > disposable gown and strange looking blue plastic chefs hat! We get into the
> > labor room and the reality of what I am about to do hits me. As I am sharing
> > this room with two other Chinese women. But I don’t have long to think about
> > this because my contractions are coming hard and fast. I had to kneel on all
> > fours on this little tiny bed and rock back and forth to keep the pain under
> > control. They decide they need to “check me” which means they want to check
> > me WHILE I am having a contraction! What! I have never heard of this! On top
> > of that when they check you they put this really strange looking brown goop
> > (think poop) which is suppose to prevent infection. I have no choice, and
> > let them check me- which hurts like crazy. They announce I am at a ZERO and
> > the baby is high- so I can not walk around in fact they just want me to lay
> > on my back.
> >
> >
> >
> > Forget the laying on my back I am having such intense back labor I can
> > barely talk. Speaking of talking, Joab and I decided that I would not speak
> > any Chinese at the hospital so that it would make them think even more that
> > I needed him to stay with me. At this point I am not speaking much English
> > let alone Chinese.
> >
> >
> >
> > We get to the hospital about 1 AM- at 3AM they “check” me again and I am
> > only at a three. But again, contractions about three minutes a part with
> > basically no breaks for me to catch my breath or even talk to Joab about our
> > options. Here my memory gets a bit unclear. Time starts to stand still and I
> > can’t really think about much except the extreme pain this baby is causing
> > me. With both Mei and Asa I labored a lot in water the hot water directly on
> > my lower back really helped the pain. Now, I had no water, no privacy and
> > pretty soon no husband to help me. I was feeling desperate, scared and
> > alone. I knew I needed to “get it together” if this baby was going to come
> > out. But honestly, I did not think I could do this alone and was asking Joab
> > to give me drugs. In fact the lady on the other side of the curtain said to
> > me in English “I think you need some drugs for the pain”. I said back to her
> > “Do you have drugs? Can I have some of yours”? She said nothing back to me
> > and then they announced it was time for me to go down one floor to the
> > delivery room….and Joab could not come with.
> >
> >
> >
> > Joab really tried- bless his heart. He tried to talk to anyone in power to
> > get him into the delivery room. But in the end (I was at 5 cm) they put me
> > on a different metal bed and rolled me down the hall, through the waiting
> > room (cue all the Chinese starring at me) and down one floor by elevator. My
> > last words to Joab were- “If I die please get remarried”. Joab assured me I
> > was not going to die- but it sure felt like it. At this point I was
> > screaming- and trying to not lay on my back while getting wheeled down the
> > hallway. I am sure I was a sight to be seen!
> >
> >
> >
> > I was wheeled into the group delivery room. Think a room about 40 feet by 40
> > feet with three metal beds, three mid wives, three nurses and one cleaning
> > lady. The other two Chinese ladies in there were in the middle of giving
> > birth when I came in. There were no curtains- it was like walking into a TLC
> > birthing show LIVE! At this point I really do not care that other people are
> > with me. I want DRUGS I want JOAB. I was screaming- screaming at them-
> > screaming at myself- I was loosing it.
> >
> >
> >
> > The midwife’s job is to catch the baby (note- this is not like the earthy
> > midwives who love natural birth like in the USA). They do not help you with
> > breathing or positions. They want the baby to come out their way and their
> > timing. The first thing the Midwife does is take me feet and put them into
> > stirrups- I started to scream louder and plead with her to NOT do this. With
> > the amount of back labor I was having I could not have more pressure on my
> > back. In my anger I kick off the stirrup from the bed. So the midwife looks
> > at me and tells me to just breathe. Just breathe! Right. So then she gives
> > me the “puffer”. She could have given my cocaine and I would have probably
> > taken it. As last time them checked my 15 min ago I was 5 and now I am a 9
> > or 10 they tell me. She puts her hand up me and touches the babies head. She
> > tells me take the “puffer” and then start pushing. Well, the puffer must
> > have been some type of laughing gas? Not sure- it was two huge tanks of gas
> > and one gas mask that were made of a little Chinese mouth. I had a hard time
> > just figuring out how to breathe in it. Not sure if it was the fact I was
> > thinking more about the “puffer” and less about my back labor or that the
> > puffer actually worked- but somehow I got to 10 cm!
> >
> >
> >
> > They put my legs back in the stirrups. Actually the bed they had me on was
> > not wide enough for my hips and my legs to be on there together. I just
> > resigned myself that their plan was the stirrups and my plan was a baby. So
> > I guess I needed to do it their way. In fact I did think about just getting
> > up and leaving- but since the baby was basically falling out of me- decided
> > against this. The midwife also told me to grip on to these metal handles
> > which somehow were attached to the stirrups. I kind of felt like I was in a
> > space ship in a very awkward position holding on to metal bar that was going
> > to get me no where!
> >
> >
> >
> > My dear friend Laura reminded me the week before not to push until I felt
> > like it. I took this to heart and actually waited (screaming through the
> > pain of the back labor while my legs are in stirrups while holding on to the
> > metal bar) until I felt the urge to push. Which was kind of the diamond in
> > the rough- with Asa the midwife basically forced me to push
> > before I was ready- and I always regretted that. So with Salome I waited and
> > it went a lot better. It took maybe five minutes and she was born. They told
> > me to slow down after her head came out- which was really hard to do! But
> > she came out- they said (in Chinese) you have a girl! And then they took her
> > vagina and basically shoved it into my face! Because they thought I did not
> > speak Chinese- I guess they wanted me to know for sure!
> >
> >
> >
> > They took Salome away to the other side of the room (I could see her the
> > whole time) and then proceeded to get the placenta out. The midwife did not
> > want me to push the placenta out- she said it would come out on its own.
> > Perhaps in a safer spot when I could actually hold my baby it would come out
> > on its own! But I wanted that baby- so I just said forget it and pushed it
> > out! Placenta was a-okay and they asked me for the third time if I wanted it
> > boxed up and taken home. No thanks but can I have my baby?! At this point I
> > start speaking Chinese and all in the room are shocked I can speak it! I
> > said – when I am not pushing a baby out I can speak Chinese- they laughed.
> >
> >
> >
> > So baby out- time for me to eat?! They give me a Chinese dumpling thing, a
> > bowl of rice porridge and a hard boiled egg. I am covered in goop and now I
> > want to eat? No thanks.
> >
> >
> >
> > At this point they bring out the tea pot. Not filled with tea but some type
> > of Chinese medicine mixture which they pour all over my birth canal and
> > area. It actually felt pretty good- then she took this Q-tip style thing and
> > started to “clean me out”. At this point I lay back down (I can only see
> > Salome if I am sitting up) and just try to relax and eat my dumpling! I was
> > actually hungry and it tasted really good!
> >
> >
> >
> > I keep asking if I can hold Salome and when can I get out of here and see
> > Joab? They inform me that I need to wait two hours in this room before I can
> > see Joab. Two hours!!!!!!! Yikes.
> >
> >
> >
> > They then take a small plastic pan to “catch” all the blood coming out of
> > me. They want to see a certain amount and keep on checking me (and kneading
> > my uterus- it really hurt). About 45 after giving birth they give me Salome!
> > She is wrapped in this paper towel looking thing- naked except for a diaper
> > (which they had to go back to the waiting room and get from Joab)
>> and she has had no bath! They then tell me I
> > need to nurse her the whole two hours while I wait to “recover”. At this
> > point I had totally resigned myself to whatever they asked of me- because
> > they let me see Salome. She was so pretty! And with red hair! Miriam is
> > going to be sooo happy!
> >
> >
> >
> > So Salome and I nursed – ate some more Chinese dumplings both of us half
> > naked on this horrible small plastic bed alone without Joab. However, we did
> > enjoy watching all the other babies being born around us while we waited
> > those two hours. I love the TLC birthing shows and I was in a live one!
> > Amazing the gift of birth!
> >
> >
> >
> > After about 1 ½ hours they took Salome from me (I thought for her bath) and
> > put some clothes on her. By this time I was READY to see Joab, get out of
> > the TLC birthing show and take a shower! I asked if we could be moved into a
> > VIP recovery room- to which the midwife said all the VIP rooms were full and
> > I needed to go into group recovery. FINE I thought- just get me out of here!
> >
> >
> >
> > So a super long 30 minutes past when finally they got another metal cart for
> > me and a smaller one for Salome. They put a new fresh gown on me and wheeled
> > us down the hall to finally see Joab! Joab met us at the door and I think
> > was pretty happy to see me alive. I was pretty happy to see he had not remarried!!
> >
> >
> >
> > We got wheeled up to the group recovery room- I was in the middle bed
> > separated by curtains from one woman on my right who just had a c-section
> > (did not look fun) and a woman on my left who had given birth a few days
> > before hand. Thankfully when I got into the room the head Doctor was making
> > rounds. She told us we could leave basically when we wanted to. Next to
> > having Salome this was the best present I got at Christmas! So as soon as
> > they could process the Birth Certificate Salome, Joab and I were out of
> > there!
> >
> >
> >
> > Born at 5:45 AM- left hospital at 3:00 PM on December, 23 2009.
Thoughts on a Fourth
People (this would be non Chinese people) ask me "so, how do you feel about having a fourth kid?". I really do not know what to say.
Excited, blessed, nervous, tired, calm, all at the same time?
How do I feel when Asa asks if Silas (he only calls the baby Silas- he is 100% it is a boy) needs a plate at dinner? How do I feel when Salome whines when anything besides her cuteness sits on my lap? How do I feel when Miriam says, "Mom, how in the world are you going to have time to do it all when the baby comes?"(and that is Miriam direct and to the point!)
When Joab and I saw kids in our family we always saw four. Well, that is not true. When we were dating we took this "marriage test" to see if we were compatible. One of the questions was - how many kids do you want to have? I looked at the answer, scared that if we did not have the right answer we would "fail". I actually went over to Joab to try and sneak what he put (he did not let me see). He put four kids...and I put two kids. In the end we did not fail, actually the person who administered the test said we scored higher than most for compatibility!
So here we are on the brink of four kids. My house is probably going to get a bit crazier (sorry Miriam). But in most ways I feel like our family will finally be "complete". And that is the best feeling of all.
Excited, blessed, nervous, tired, calm, all at the same time?
How do I feel when Asa asks if Silas (he only calls the baby Silas- he is 100% it is a boy) needs a plate at dinner? How do I feel when Salome whines when anything besides her cuteness sits on my lap? How do I feel when Miriam says, "Mom, how in the world are you going to have time to do it all when the baby comes?"(and that is Miriam direct and to the point!)
When Joab and I saw kids in our family we always saw four. Well, that is not true. When we were dating we took this "marriage test" to see if we were compatible. One of the questions was - how many kids do you want to have? I looked at the answer, scared that if we did not have the right answer we would "fail". I actually went over to Joab to try and sneak what he put (he did not let me see). He put four kids...and I put two kids. In the end we did not fail, actually the person who administered the test said we scored higher than most for compatibility!
So here we are on the brink of four kids. My house is probably going to get a bit crazier (sorry Miriam). But in most ways I feel like our family will finally be "complete". And that is the best feeling of all.
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